The Role of Christ in a Christian Marriage
- Marriage
GospelExplore
- 0
- 15 minutes read
couples sharing their love life at sunset
In a world where marriage is increasingly viewed as a mere contract or social arrangement, the Christian perspective offers something radically different. At the heart of a truly Christian marriage is not just love, compatibility, or commitment—it is Christ Himself. When Jesus is given His rightful place in a marriage, everything changes. The foundation is stronger, the love is deeper, and the purpose is eternal.
So, what is the role of Christ in a Christian marriage? It is not just symbolic. It is central, active, and absolutely essential. Christ is not only the model for love and sacrifice; He is the source of strength, the glue that holds two hearts together, and the goal toward which both husband and wife should be striving.
Let’s take a deep dive into what the Bible says about the role of Christ in marriage and why centering your relationship on Him is the most important decision you can ever make.
1. Christ as the Foundation of Marriage
Every structure is only as strong as its foundation. A marriage built on attraction, convenience, or even mutual affection alone will crumble when tested. But a marriage built on Christ stands the test of time.
Jesus Himself said in Matthew 7:24-25:
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock… the rain came, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
A Christian marriage must be rooted in Christ’s teachings, His truth, and His presence. This means both spouses prioritize their relationship with Jesus individually and together. Prayer, Scripture, worship, and obedience to God form the solid rock beneath their union.
2. Christ as the Model for Love and Leadership
Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This verse is one of the most powerful descriptions of marital love in Scripture. Christ’s love is not passive—it is active, sacrificial, and relentless. He laid down His life for the Church. Likewise, a Christian husband is called to lead not by control, but by compassion, not by dominance, but by dying to self daily for the good of his wife.
Wives are called to respond with respect and trust, just as the Church responds to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24). This dynamic doesn’t create inequality—it fosters unity and mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). Christ’s role in the marriage is the template, not just for how to love, but how to serve, lead, and sacrifice.
3. Christ as the Source of Forgiveness and Grace
Every marriage experiences conflict. Misunderstandings, hurtful words, and unmet expectations are inevitable. But what sets a Christian marriage apart is the presence of grace—grace that flows from Christ.
Colossians 3:13 instructs:
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
When both husband and wife understand how much they have been forgiven by Christ, they are empowered to forgive each other. This doesn’t mean ignoring sin or sweeping problems under the rug, but choosing to respond with mercy rather than revenge. In Christ, forgiveness isn’t optional—it’s essential.
A marriage without Christ often struggles with bitterness, pride, and resentment. But in a Christ-centered marriage, there’s always a pathway to healing and reconciliation because of His example and enabling grace.
4. Christ as the Peace in the Storm
Life brings challenges—financial struggles, health issues, family tensions, and unexpected losses. These pressures can either push a couple apart or draw them closer together.
Isaiah 26:3 says:
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”
In Christian marriage, Christ is the anchor in every storm. When couples pray together during crisis, when they cling to God’s promises, when they seek counsel through His Word, they experience a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7).
Storms reveal what your marriage is built upon. With Christ, no matter the shaking, you remain unshaken.
5. Christ as the Goal of Marriage
Christian marriage is not just about companionship or raising a family—it is about glorifying God. Marriage is a living picture of Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). When the world looks at a godly marriage, they should see a reflection of Jesus’ love, faithfulness, humility, and unity.
Your marriage is missional. It’s not just for your happiness but for His glory. Every act of love, every moment of patience, every sacrifice made in secret speaks of Christ. A Christian couple should constantly ask: Are we becoming more like Christ together? Are we showing the world what He looks like?
6. Keeping Christ at the Center: Practical Ways
It’s not enough to say “Christ is the center.” It must be lived out intentionally. Here are some powerful habits that help keep Christ at the center of your marriage:
1. Pray Together Daily
Even just five minutes a day praying with your spouse builds spiritual intimacy and invites Christ into your daily life.
2. Study the Word Together
Set time weekly to read Scripture together and discuss how it applies to your marriage and personal growth.
3. Worship as a Family
Make church attendance a non-negotiable. Worship together at home and in the house of God.
4. Serve Together
Find ways to serve others together—whether in church, in your community, or through acts of kindness. Serving aligns your marriage with God’s heart.
5. Forgive Quickly, Love Deeply
Don’t let offenses fester. Extend grace and remember how Christ has forgiven you.
7. When Christ is Missing
It’s important to understand the danger of excluding Christ from marriage. Without Him:
- Pride takes over
- Communication breaks down
- Forgiveness becomes rare
- Love becomes conditional
- Purpose is lost
Many marriages today are suffering not because of infidelity, money, or compatibility, but because Christ has been pushed out. Replacing Him with personal ambition, worldly values, or selfish desires always leads to emptiness.
But it’s never too late to invite Him back in.
Conclusion: Let Christ Reign in Your Marriage
The role of Christ in a Christian marriage is not peripheral—it is central, crucial, and transformative. He is the foundation, the model, the mediator, the strength, the peace, and the purpose of your union. When Jesus reigns in your marriage, love deepens, grace abounds, and purpose becomes clear.
Let your marriage be more than a relationship—let it be a ministry, a witness to the world, and a reflection of the glorious love between Christ and His bride, the Church.
Let Christ be at the center. Let Him write your love story.
